Santa Cruise

On Sunday we took the Coeur d' Alene santa cruise to the "north pole" with a nice crew of other families. Jonathan was lucky enough to get a complimentary invite from the financial planner for his PT office. It was great!

The weather was far from lovely (rainy & windy) but Clara loved it despite. She doesn't quite understand who santa is, but she likes him nonetheless. And she liked the fact that her name was called on the "good list". We asked her if she wanted something from santa this year and she said "yes, a light. Like a star". I'm not sure what to do with that one. Hopefully in the next few weeks we can either translate it into something lightish or help it change into something we have already purchased (like princess slippers or a new book)) :).

Pre Push Present

I haven't pushed a baby into the world quite yet (for those of you waiting for news, sorry). But I have managed to acquire the best present that this mama could EVER ask for. What is this present exactly?

A dishwasher. A DISHWASHER!!!!!!

Yes, you read it correctly. After three years, one month and twelve-ish days of living in our home, we now have the world's greatest appliance in our kitchen. It has been a long time coming.

If you know me and we've talked about our dishwasher saga, you know that I have battled with the whole thing constantly. Making light of the fact that we don't have one. Then dying in agony over not having one. Then trying to use it as focused prayer time. And then getting really discouraged. And then accepting it again. And then melting down. Etcetera etcetera etcetera. Yes, it's been quite the three year ordeal. I would like to think I've handled the situation beautifully but I haven't.

Numerous times I looked into the possibility of getting one, but with no great option. We have no space for a wheeling one. An on the counter option, suggested by an appliance store guy, was a joke (not only do we have very limited counter space but the apparatus would wash five things at once). An under the sink option might have worked, but the size of our sink made it an impossibility as well. Oh yes, and a regular dishwasher (24 inches deep) would never work with our pathetic 17 inch deep counters. P.S. When I first called the appliance store with our measurements the sales rep laughed out loud. The jerk! ;)

So we were stuck. Except with the possibility of a major kitchen remodel, which we were a good five years from tackling. Could I last that long? Apparently not. I told Jono that I just couldn't have two kids without a dishwasher so something had to be done.

Enter our amazing contractor, Darren. He gave us the idea of extending our counters/cabinets on just one side of the sink (we couldn't extend the entire thing because of the entrance to our breakfast nook), adding a dishwasher and creating a custom cabinet on the other side. We just replaced our laminate counter with a new one. And wala! Well, more than wala, actually. At the same time, he added a garbage disposal. A GARBAGE DISPOSAL! (I know. Having neither was a double whammy). And then we decided to make use of some wasted space above the refrigerator and add some cabinets. Oh yes, and he's replacing the ridiculous gold knobs with new hardware too.

So basically, my "push present"/Christmas present/birthday present for the next five years is an updated kitchen. Never mind granite countertops or lovely new cabinets. Just give me a dishwasher, a disposal, a little extra counter space and some more storage. I am in heaven!!

I'm not going to lie. I actually shed a few tears the morning I first ran our beautiful new appliance. Jonathan thought I was about to lose my mind. I assured him they were just tears of joy :).

So now we're ready to have this baby. The kitchen isn't 100% done but will be any day. Just the cabinet doors need to be added and Darren should finish by the end of the week. I'll update pics when the whole project is through, but here are just a few to give you an idea...

I figured after the baby has been born nobody will care to see pictures of my new dishwasher, so I had to sneak it in before it goes unappreciated!

The Tree

I have to say, our Christmas tree is quite amazing this year. Here is why...

1. It was free (thank you, Corbetts).

2. It took Jonathan 12 seconds to put up.

3. It will not shed.

4. It will not die before the 25th of December.

5. No little ones can hide behind it.

6. If it falls over, no harm will be done to anyone/anything (and Clara can pick it up with one arm and hand it back to us).

That's right. It's the world's best tree.

Now I'm not quite sure it qualifies as a Christmas tree. I mean, it has green on it. But no evenly dispersed branches. Certainly no plethora of space for ornaments. I don't think it will win any Rockafeller Plaza look-alike contests.

But it was the perfect tree for this year. I think next year we'll do the whole Christmas tree farm outing that I loved growing up. Or maybe we'll trek through the woods in search of the perfect blue spruce? But maybe not. We might just fall in love with the look of the baby ponderosa pine? Or if not the look, the long list of perks that come with it. :)

Giving Thanks

This year Thanksgiving kind of snuck up on me. I know. It always lands on the fourth Thursday in November. I shouldn't be surprised. It's just I've been a bit preoccupied these last few days/weeks. I will make up for my lack of thankfulness and effort next year. My meal contributions this year consisted of Costco rolls, sparkling cidar, pickles and olives. And I didn't even hang my "thankful sign". Sheesh. Next year I will participate in a thankful countdown. And make multiple items from scratch. I hope, at least.

I still have a thankful heart, okay. I promise. Just a few things I am thankful for...

*my amazing husband who is far too good to me/for me

*my little girl who is the source of much joy, laughter, and exhaustion ;)

*extended family and friends who make life so much sweeter

*my life-changing pre push present (more to come on that later)

There is much more, of course. Dozens and dozens of things. I really am blessed beyond what I deserve.

Our weekend was about as relaxing as it has ever been over Thanksgiving (we have spent the past two years in California, after all). We ran (I walked) the turkey trot.

We ate dinner and dessert with both sides of our families. And had a wonderful time!

And then we relaxed all weekend. Checked items from the to do list. Decorated for Christmas. Laid low and enjoyed time as a family of three. Might it be the last weekend as a family of three? Who knows!

Boy or Girl?

I recognize the fact that I am a bit of an emotional basket case these days. I know. Blame it on the hormones. It doesn't take much to bring me to tears lately. Or to respond in heightened emotion. I can say without a doubt that I am just a bit more sensitive than normal. And I really really don't like it. Hurrah for pregnancy and motherhood. It does crazy things, I tell you.

With that being said, I will just come out and say that being surprised (when it comes to the sex of our baby) has been a little bit more challenging this time around than last. And most of it is in my sensitivity, I think.

It hasn't been harder because of the unknown, though the desire to know is certainly killing me at this point. It hasn't been harder because of the planning aspect (there are, of course, challenges with decorating, etc - but it was just the same with Clara).

What has been harder about it, this time around? Other people. Okay, not all other people. Most people are great. But some people. Ugh. Let me explain.

I think when you don't know what you're having, it invites people to share their opinions and comments more readily. Especially when it comes to what gender of child they assume you want.

Don't get me wrong. I love when people guess what we're having. That's the fun of it! And there are so many theories. The Chinese calendar. Carrying high or low. The shape of your belly. The heart rate of the baby. All of these things are great. I'm not talking about guessing.

What I'm talking about is people freely asserting what they assume you want. I mean, obviously everyone knows exactly what a mom to be wants, right? (I hope you're reading my sarcasm ;))

When you know what you're having, people ask and you say "I'm having a girl". Done deal. When you tell people it's a surprise, it's astonishing how many say, "well obviously you're wanting a boy".

Um, actually??? What are you supposed to say to that??!

Yes, we would LOVE a boy. Or nope, we'd LOVE a girl? Both happen to be entirely true. We really wouldn't be waiting if we had a preference.

What happens is I just end up getting offended. Then defensive. Then waaayyy overly sensitive. It's a pretty bad combination at 38 weeks. And then I go home and cry to Jonathan that I just wish we had found out so people would stop stop stop.

This is all quite ridiculous, I know. It's not that big of a deal what people think I want. And as tempting as it is, I don't need to say something really awkward (and slightly vengeful) like "actually it's been a really hard year and we miscarried and I'd really love either one, thanks". I can just politely nod and realize that people are weird and they say silly things and it's all going to be okay.

Can you tell that this is a bit of a soap box for me right now? At some point I wanted to document my thoughts on the surprise, and here they are...

Having a boy. Gosh that would be amazing. It is actually what I pictured when I looked ahead to motherhood: having lots of boys. And I know I would love it. Some of my closest friends have boys and I adore them; they're so much fun. I'd love to experience having both sexes. And I know that having a male around this place would bring a good balance. Two and two. Seems pretty great, I think.

And then I think about having a girl. Never mind the fact that we're already in girl mode (bows, babylegs and all) but....Sisters! That one word brings more emotion to me than nearly any other. I love my sister. Like really really love my sister. I honestly just get teary thinking of Clara having a sister. And the crazy thing? Leah and I are 2 years and 8 months apart (to the day). If this little one is a girl, she and Clara will be 2 years and 7 months apart. Pretty awesome, I think.

So there you have it. How could I ever choose? I am just so glad I don't have to. I laugh now at how I thought Clara was a boy. And how on some level I thought I wanted a boy first. I am so so glad that God didn't consult me when he created the perfect plan for our family. Don't get me wrong - I'm sure I would have loved a boy. I am just so blessed beyond measure with the gift of Clara. And I would never have it any other way.

What do I think we're having this time around? I have no idea. Really! I try to imagine the moment of "it's a...." and picture which one would come as a surprise. I kind of think having a boy might surprise me more, so maybe it means I think it's a girl? I'm not sure. It changes daily. Hourly. All I can say is that I'm excited to find out :).

Pure Joy

Jonathan captured some of the sweetest shots of Miss Clara last weekend as they raked leaves. I'm pretty sure these pictures summarize our little lady these days. She finds such joy in all the little things. Like leaves. And yesterday: the first snow. It's amazing how little ones help you stop and take notice. Just one of the many gifts of motherhood. We love you, Clara Joanne...

And this one has to be my favorite picture of all...

Halloween at Disneyland

Yes, we happened to be at Disneyland on Halloween. Mostly by coincidence than anything else, really. Jonathan had a PT conference there all weekend and Monday was our day to hit up Disneyland as a family before flying back home Tuesday. We were actually quite nervous about it since our little girl has an extreme fear of masks. But there weren't people dressed in scary costumes. And the Disney characters didn't even seem to freak her out - which was pretty amazing, actually.

Our successful trip to Disney may be attributed to our "mask therapy" (ie: looking at dozens of pictures, trying on masks herself and looking in the mirror, talking about them). I'm not quite sure. I doubt she's truly conquered the fear for good. But I do know that Disneyland was a total success. Clara loved it. Jono did too. And I didn't go into labor - even after walking around for seven hours, following Snow White and her two fellow princesses as they took Disneyland by storm ;).

That's right. Even though the kitty costume was purchased last year for a great deal, we had to scramble for a Disney-themed costume. Thank you, Amy's dress up box. Snow white was perfect. And Ed & Hayley (some dear friends from PT school - also at Disneyland for the same conference)'s littler girls Gracie & Bella were perfect little princesses as well. I could hardly handle watching their excitement. And outrageous cuteness.

We went hard for about seven hours before calling it a day. There was no time to fit in a nap on the short car ride home. Then we grabbed some pizza and picnicked at a nearby park before we changed Snow White into a kitty and went trick-or-treating with Leah and Trav. This little cat didn't last too long (or maybe it was me that didn't last long). We just visited a handful of houses, went home and ate a piece of candy (Clara, that is. We adults polished the rest of her candy off) and crashed. What a day!

Disneyland + no nap + trick-or-treating made for quite the Halloween day. I don't think we'll be able to rival it for years to come. And we certainly won't be able to get away with eating all her candy ever again. But that's okay. We'll just have to visit a few more houses so she won't miss any of the stolen pieces ;).

Cali

We took a last minute trip to California over Halloween weekend. Okay, maybe it wasn't entirely last minute. We had purchased our tickets over the summer. But it was "last minute" because I really did not entirely plan on going until two days before, when my OB gave me the official thumbs up. That's the nice thing about Southwest airlines, right? Cancel your plans at any moment without a fee.

Why the timing, you might be wondering? The trip was scheduled around a PT conference - where Jonathan was both attending and presenting research. We never would've planned a family vacation in the middle of my 34th/35th week of pregnancy, trust me! We just found ridiculously great tickets for the three of us...and it was Disneyland...and my sister lives twenty minutes from there...and Jono's best friend from PT school + his family were attending...and who doesn't want to go to California in late October/November? I know. We wouldn't have planned it with the timing of this baby, but I was certainly still hoping to go. If it was okay, of course. And thankfully, it was.

The nice thing about our lack of plans was how much we didn't do. Our last two trips to Cali have been jam-packed with fun and excitement. This time our schedule was far from jam packed. Yes, we did manage a day at Disneyland as a family (more to come on that one later). And we had a few lovely outings. But mostly we spent the time hanging out with Leah and Travis, enjoying time at the beach, eating at fun restaurants, soaking up the eighty degree sunshine, and taking plenty of naps while the Claranator slept. It was a glorious time.

And it was quite relieving to make it back home without experiencing a California delivery. It's not that I was necessarily in danger of premature labor. I'm just glad to be home until this little bambino makes his/her debut!

Here are just a few highlights from our trip...

Clara's utter excitement about plan travel. It's been about a year since she's flown and she couldn't have been happier about it. Her favorite part? Getting to chew gum during take off and landings - and asking millions of questions about airplanes that the average person (ie: us) could never answer.

Jono celebrating the completion of his poster presentation with Pluto and Goofy. It's not every day that giant Disney characters congratulate you on the completion of a project!

Beach time!

In & Out picnic on the beach after church (and XL preggo mama) + a little pigeon chasing.

Balboa Island: 10:30 am balboa bars & frozen bananas. Did Clara eat any of her banana? Nope. Just the chocolate and sprinkles.

Yogurtland. Clara just couldn't get enough.

And lots of chill time at Aunt Leah & Uncle Trav's new condo!